My Princess

DSC07902My granddaughter is four years old and she thinks she’s a princess. “Well, of course she does!”, you say, “what four-year-old girl doesn’t?” After all, little girls are growing up with “Frozen” which is more popular than, well – EVERYTHING! I swear, preschoolers these days think Anna & Elsa will be classmates of theirs as soon as they hit first grade. Disney Princesses are everywhere: books, movies, clothing, accessories – you name it! My granddaughter has been to numerous “princess” birthday parties and has dressed up as a princess every Halloween since she has been able to decide for herself what she wanted to be – all of what? Two years now? The point is, I understand there is nothing unusual about a little girl thinking she’s a princess. What IS unusual is the passion with which she believes it!

I had the pleasure of spending the day with my granddaughter a few weeks ago during her break from preschool. We did a little shopping, worked on a few craft projects; but mostly we just played together. It was while we were playing that she sat herself down and said,

“Grammy, I want to tell you something.”

I could tell she was serious! I knew we were about to have a truly heartfelt conversation!

“OK, honey. You can tell me anything. What is it?”

“Well, this morning Mommy & Daddy laughed at me!”

“Oh! What were you doing that they found so funny?”

“I wasn’t doing anything… it was something I said.”

“Well then…what was it you said?”

“I was explaining to them that I am a princess!”

“Well, of course you are, Sweetheart” I agreed with a smile. “You’re MY princess! And you’re THEIR princess, too!”

“NO Grammy! I’m a REAL princess! REALLY!” (She was rather emphatic here!)

So I wiped the smile from my face and proceeded to explain to her that most princesses she knows of are not real. They exist only in stories. They live in the minds of the people who write those stories and in the hearts of those of us who read them. She assured me she knew all that!

I moved on to convey that there are indeed some real princes and princesses in the world, but they are the sons and daughters of real kings & queens. I told her we don’t have real princesses in our country because we don’t have a king & queen. We elect our leaders. She knew all that, as well!

I informed her that her friends all think they are princesses, too. They believe they are special and beautiful, and they are! We ALL are, in our own special way. She nodded her head in agreement!

“Well, Baby Doll, do you understand?” I asked her.

“Yes”, she replied with a hint of aloofness; but I was skeptical.

“What do you understand?” I inquired.


“Well, I understand that I am really a real princess, but not everybody thinks I am! It’s OK though, at least I know I am! I might not always be one, but for now (shrugs shoulders) – I just am!”

“You’re right”, I conceded, “you are absolutely right! And no matter how old I am or how old you are, in my heart you will always, always be a princess!” (Hugs ensued!)

There will be days soon enough when her friends don’t seem much like friends, when her teacher simply isn’t being fair, or when her parents don’t want to claim her PERIOD, let alone claim she is their princess! Life will become difficult and problems will be overwhelming. Soon, when reality sets in, she will discover she is not that much different than anyone else and that we all just do our best in this world. But for now, in her four-year-old little world, it’s OK for her to believe she is a princess! Who am I to tell her she is not? Now, if she still thinks so when she’s eight? Well, Houston, we might have a problem!


  1. I remember the vehemence with which my son used to proclaim whatever identity or reality he had chosen. As a three year old, he insisted he was a girl and had to be called Natalie. That phase lasted several months and a couple of name changes. His imaginary siblings lasted much longer. We had to take real trips in our real car to collect them from various activities, like ballet and soccer practice. He even had a go at pretending to be much older and would cheerfully add a few years to his age when people asked. That was really funny because he was so obviously a pre-schooler, telling confused strangers he was seven. The fantasies died pretty much when he went to school and, as you say, friends don’t always seem like friends and teachers are sometimes just unfair. I love that little kids are able to explore identities and shift between worlds without all the constraints that the rest of us feel. Thanks for this post, and for reminding me of a time with my son that I really cherish.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s